The Fart Effect.

27 02 2010

I just farted. And then directly after that for some reason I thought about the split second that the Big Bang happened and the Universe began unravelling and existing in all directions at impossible speeds. Over the next 13.5 billion years countless galaxies and stars formed and died. Planets were created and destroyed. Earth formed, water became and landmasses broke apart and connected in an endless dance of creation. Life formed and evolved; humans arrived, towns were formed, people were killed, cities grew and gloves were invented. Then I, Glen Matthew Huscroft of England, Earth, at that one specific moment, farted. That is one fucking big Rube Goldberg Machine, and my fart was just a simple cog in the great contraption. But, for a brief second, creation itself had lead to that very moment.


The Importance of being Locke

22 05 2009

Good and evil has always been a prominent theme throughout Lost. From the opening episode of the show, the theme has prominently been symbolised using black and white. At the centre of this in the season 5 finale was John Locke, a man who has pure faith in the island. Locke himself represents good, or white: “I looked into the eye of this island… and what I saw was beautiful”, “It looked like a beautiful bright light”. Flocke (Fake-Locke, the seemingly evil man opposing Jacob in the opening scene of the Season 5 finale who is using Johns body) as Locke represents evil , or black. Little did we know from season 1 that Locke would be a character torn between both sides. Not literally John, but his body and image. Obviously the signs were there throughout the latter half of season 5. Upon resurrection we all noticed that Locke was a changed man — he appeared almost arrogant; as if he knew more than he should and more than he was letting on. But the signs that Locke would one day be used as a pawn between good and evil were present way before season 5.

Locke explains a lot more than backgammon

“Two players, two sides. One is light… and one is dark”. Never has this scene been more important. The lines were previously blurred between what or who was white and what or who was black. Widmore? Dharma? The Others? Now we have 2 central figures — Jacob and Flocke — and inbetween them Locke, used as a pawn by Flocke to kill Jacob. The next time black and white becomes prominent in the show is again a scene with Locke.

Locke has a black eye

He appears in Claires dream with one black eye and one white eye in Season 1’s “Raised by Another”. Little did we know that this could indeed nod to a direct and literal split in Locke, the white eye representing the real John and the black eye referencing Flocke. What is perhaps more interesting in this scene is that Locke is dealing out tarot cards which are traditionally used to read a persons future… Listen to the noise made when Locke deals the first Tarot card. A knife being unsheathed. The importance of a knife to John has always been what we thought was a simple urge to hunt. But it seems Flockes plan was somewhat ingrained into Lockes destiny from birth…

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Which of these things belongs to you John?“. The correct answer was, of course, the compass. It literally belonged to Locke, he gave it to Richard merely 2 years prior. But young Locke chooses the knife. Again, possibly a sign of things to come. Lockes ultimate destiny was always set in stone. Whatever happens happens. The knife represents Johns dark side… Flocke. The tool ultimately used to bring Jacobs life to an end. It isn’t literally John of course, but Lockes body is ultimately destined to play out that role.  This early connection with the island and his ultimate destiny is present in this scene again by the presence of the smoke monster in young Lockes wall drawings.

This brings us to the final early prominent black and white imagery…

"Bring me the eyes of John Locke and I will give you your... saviour"

Adam and Eve. The nickname given by Locke to the two bodies found in the caves in season 1. Found in a pouch alongside the two bodies is one black stone and one white stone. In the past, I’ve always theorised that Adam and Eve would be a major couple on the show — Rose and Bernard, Jack and Kate, Desmond and Penny. After the season 5 finale, I think it has to be mythologically bigger than that. One possibility that just sprung to mind is that the bodies are BOTH Locke. Imagine, if you will, that Flocke is killed in season 6 as the form of John Locke. One good Locke and one bad — black and white. These are the two bodies found in season 1 and it gives the stones more relevance than ever. This would bring the entire black and white symbolism and Lockes relevance to it full circle. The main problem with this theory is that the bodies have been decaying for approx 50 years by Jacks estimates. Having said that if any show can have two bodies present in 2007 somehow buried in 1954 it’s Lost. Locke just seems to be heavily involved with the black and white imagery and while it isn’t technically Locke who hands the knife to Ben, the events are certainly foreshadowed throughout Lockes life. Regardless of who the two bodies are, this black and white imagery culminated in the season 5 finale with two distinct parties, Jacob and his opposition. The man responsible for Lockes downfall and the man who ultimately becomes (F)Locke. Black and White.

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Happy Birthday to me…

17 01 2008

OK, so it was my birthday two days ago but meh. Not much occured, really. I’m not celebrating it til the weekend. Being here at Uni, there’s not much to do aside from have a few drinks with a few friends, which I did. Watched Boogie Nights, which I love. Chest Brockwell… what a name! This weekend I’m going home. Going to get my presents off friends/family and go out on Saturday to celebrate, so I’ll probably update this after then, hopefully with some pictures. Aside from that, we’ve just been playing a bit of Rock Band really. Completed drum campaign on Hard (Suck on that, ‘Run To The Hills’) and I’m a fair bit through expert.

I need a hair cut.

Happy New Year

11 01 2008

OK, so I’m a bit late in updating my blog. But I’ve been home over Christmas and New Year and I’ve never really got round to doing it. I guess I’ll start where I last left off.

I bought an American brand new Elite 360 off eBay. It was perfect. Already in the country, brand new, American and only £200. That’s cheaper than a Premium over here; I guess nobody wanted it because it’s American an it doesn’t come with a UK power cable (I already have one). Better yet, he only lived 20 miles away so we went to pick it up. That gave us a whole night of Rock Band before we broke up for the holidays. It was worth the wait, and it is fucking fantastic. I think I’ve picked up the drums fairly well. I jumped straight into a hard career mode and I’m now half way through expert, having never played the drums in my life.

Anyway, Christmas was fun. It was probably the first year where I was looking forward to spending time with my friends and family, doing the usual stuff like eating fantastic food and getting fat more than I was looking forward to presents and shit. I’m getting to the age where I’d happily accept a pair of socks as a gift. Still, it was pretty good present wise. I got an iPod touch. I always though if I’d get an MP3 player it wouldn’t be an iPod because you’re buying a brand, not a top class MP3 player. Capability, quality and price wise they’re not the best. The iPod touch is a completely different market though. I bought it because it looks fantastic, does fantastic things and is so much more than an MP3 player. It’s the iPhone essentially, without the phone (I don’t need a phone – I have one without a ridiculous contract) but thinner and a lot cheaper. Almost everyone I know has fallen in love with it and wants one. Including my parents, who are scared of technology love it because it’s so simple. No buttons… just press what you want. And who isn’t impressed at zooming in on a picture by pinching the screen. I’ve also jailbroke it and installed some pretty cool applications such as a scrobbler, a SNES emulator, SCUMMVM so I can player Broken Sword and a few other cool games and such. The internet works perfectly on it, and it’s cool lying in bed watching YouTube videos. All in all, I’ve probably only spent about 30% of my time on it actually listening to music.

So Christmas was cool. New Years was pretty good. Couldn’t be arsed to go out so I had a few friends round. I’m sure you can imagine what happened; we got drunk. I’m sure Lauren or Dee has some photos I’ll try and get to put up here. I’m back at Uni now. Been playing a lot of Rock Band with my housemates in our band ‘Crab Enamel’. Not been up to much else. Hanging around, drinking a bit. Went out last night for ‘one or two pints’ which turned into 6 or 7. Now I’m listening to ‘In Rainbows’ as loud as I possibly can. Best album of 2007 bar none. I’m sure I had something else to say, but I can’t remember what. Oh well…


Rock Banned

4 12 2007

So, between my last post and this one you’d expect something miraculous to have happened. Nope… same old, same old. We haven’t really even went out much recently. Last Thursday was quite fun. To make up for the fact that I hadn’t been out in a while, I got a wee bit drunk. We ended up soaking the kitchen floor and skidding across it. Then sliding down the stairs. Let’s just say it wasn’t the hangover that hurt the following morning…

Aside from that, the one glimmer of light was Rock Band. Rock Band itself is worth hyping up and getting excited over, but when you live in a house with 3 other gamers all of whom love Guitar Hero and such… well, we really wanted it. Unfortunately the UK release date isn’t even announced yet, labelled only as ‘Q1 2008’. My guess is March or April but I wouldn’t be surprised if it got delayed due to hardware issues. Anyway, we all contributed money to import it, assuming it was region free as 90% of the 360 games I’ve bought are. If not, I had a plan to borrow my brothers modded 360 to play it.

So we paid and waited. I must have refreshed at least 10 times a day on the tracking page to watch it get closer to our house. Finally, 10 days later, it arrived. But there was no delivery. One phone call to the delivery depot later, “You have customs charges. You can come and pick the item up and pay them”. Off to the depot we went. Handed over the tracking number, “There is no such item here”. Bugger. Wrong depot. I was at Royal Mail and it was being handled by Parcel Force. After a silly journey based on Royal Mail man’s terrible directions to the other depot, we arrived. Paid the ridiculous customs charges (£38… over $80) and brought the game home.

It was like christmas day. We set it all up and put the game in one of our 4 360’s. “This game is not the correct region. Go to for more information.” Well, that’s a bit shit, I thought. Not to worry though, I have my brothers not so legal console. In goes the disk… “This game is not the correct region. Go to for more information.”

Our faces dropped. An hour or so of research later, we found out that not a single firmware flash or mod chip can bypass region locking. This thought hadn’t even entered our mind… I thought the main reason for modding your console was to play imports. Surely after 2 years, somebody had figured it out. Shit. Fuck. Bollocks. So, Rock Band sits set up in our sitting room. A statue of what could have been. Were we stupid for blindly importing? Probably. But the awesomeness of the game made us do it.

Now we’re left with 3 options. Wait until the UK release and buy the standalone disk (The hardware is region free and working… for now). This would destroy the point of importing, and create another agonising wait. We could re-sell it on eBay. That way we’d have to agonisingly wait, but we’d have our money back in the mean time. And thirdly import an American console.

Me being the silly bugger that I am, I’m looking for an import. The cheapest NTSC console I can find. I don’t need an HDD or Wires or pads. And I won’t be buying this just for Rock Band. I’ll use it as an import console, getting games cheaper and quicker. But I really can’t afford it…

But I shall!

For the gods of rock…


Ágætis byrjun

18 11 2007

Hello one and all. Probably just one. What have I been up to this week? Well, I wish I had a grand adventure to discuss, but I don’t. I haven’t really been out this week. I had a few drinks in the house a few days ago. Well, actually more than a few. But nothing exciting happened. I just played on Halo 3 with my housemates til the early hours. Some American redneck asked me what the bitches were like in England, to which I replied “Probably the same as the bitches over there” and he said “I heard they have multiple men” to which I replied “Not from my experience” and he said “You must just be ugly” to which I replied “I look like your dad”. Thinking about it now in a more sober state of mind, what he said didn’t even make sense. In my experience, women don’t have multiple men, thus anybody I’ve been with has been with me only. Surely not a concept which would make one think I’m ugly. Unless of course you’re an ignorant, American imbecile. Either way, I had the last laugh. I then went on to play the Antiques Roadshow theme down my microphone. A theme which greatly translates to being a soundtrack to a battle.

Went to Dee’s house yesterday. Everybody was drinking, but I was feeling a bit weak/dizzy and I got a headache so I, for once, stuck to water. Nothing to note happened. Watched a bit of ‘Children In Need’. I decided that if Ross Kemp had a brother, his name should be Ted. Ted Kemp. lol. Made a few songs today. Bit bored really. Especially for a Saturday. Oh well. I spontaneously bought Rock Band on eBay yesterday but I’m regretting it now because I don’t have £150 to waste, but I really don’t want to wait til the UK release date (Probably around Feb/March. Maybe later) but I rang Gav today and he said he might pay for half of it, which is fair as the whole house would be playing it a lot. Who takes it home is a different matter, but I might just fully buy it off him when the time comes. Either way, it’s going to be put to use in the student house for the next 2 years.

And that is that. The name of this blog post by the by is a Sigur Ros album I’m listening to. I want their new DVD. And the limited edition ‘The Beatles – Help’ DVD boxset. It’s rather good. It features a deleted scene with Wendy Richard (Pauline Fowler) who, according to IMDb, has a rather extensive ornamental frog collection.


13 11 2007

Well, I’ll class this as my first proper new blog post since re-beginning my blog. I haven’t done much. I went home on the weekend, but my family went away to my aunties in Yorkshire for my cousins birthday so I had the house to myself. I wasn’t planning on going out on Saturday, but Dee convinced me. My new student bank account is finally open, so I have some money to tie me over til the stupid Student Loan Company sorts my maintenance grant out. Also meant I could pay Gav back the money he has so kindly borrowed me to survive til said grant/bank account gets sorted.

Anyway, I drank half a bottle of cheap scotch whisky at Dee’s, and then her mam re-filled half of it with some Bell’s Whisky she had. Usually a good thing, however almost a bottle of whisky before going out to a club is never a good idea. Anyway, it was an ok night out, but nothing special. Krash just doesn’t do much for me anymore. It’s predictable both in it’s music and company but I still hardly recognised anybody there, so I assume most of the old crowd have moved on. Maybe it was just a bad week. It also feels weird, as Dee pointed out, going out with just 3 people (Dee, Lauren and James in this case) having gotten used to going out with a large crowd of peeps from the student houses. And it’s still ridiculously expensive (£3 a pint fuckingsadface.gif). I want to go to Skates, as that is always brilliant (and cheap) but it’s on an awkward day (Tuesday).

Aside from that, I have done little else. I came back to Uni. Went to the cinema with everybody today to see 30 Days of Night. It was ok. Pretty much as I expected. I didn’t expect a masterpiece, and I didn’t get one. I’d have liked it to be a little scarier though. Not that I get scared by many movies anyway, but still… when you’re laughing, it says a lot. Near Dark is my favourite Vampire movie.

I bought Call of Duty 4 today too. Haven’t played much of it yet. Played a few rounds of Team Deathmatch and it was really fun, but I knew what to expect having played the multiplayer beta. Still, something else to play online aside from Halo 3. Wanting Mass Effect and Assassins Creed this month too.

And that, for the moment, is that.