Goats

4 12 2008

What better way to kick start my blog again than with a post about goats. A friend today stumbled me this picture of a goat:

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I think the point of the image was to show how impressive it is that a mountain goat can climb such a sheer cliff, and the humour derived from the illusion that it is floating. But it got me thinking; what on Earth is this goat doing? What does it hope to achieve? What do any of these goats hope to achieve? I have seen a few goats traverse cliffs in my time thanks to Attenborough. Seriously, find a field. I know you’re a great climber and all but don’t bother risking your life, for what? A bit of moss on some Rock? Maybe you’re avoiding some predators. A bear, perhaps? Well tough fucking luck. You may be able to avoid bears and wolves in this spot, but your inability to move fast makes you perfect for a bit of cliff chucking. And that’s exactly what the Golden Eagle does. It throws goats off cliffs. So go find a nice field. Eat some grass. Sure, you’re in danger of being mauled by a bear but it’s better than literally living life on the edge (see what I did there). I’m sure anyone would rather be killed by a bear than by a bird. You’ll never live it down in the goat afterlife, assuming you’re a religious goat (I hear Atheism is rapidly spreading in the goat community). I’d also like to know when 1. goats became such great climbers and 2. they first decided this was a good idea.

“Hey… hey Billy, that’s the third mauling this week. I think we need to do something about this. I think we need to walk across that unnecessarily dangerous precipice”.

“That totally looks do-able. Let’s go for it!”.

Anyway, during my search for some goat related items for this post I came to realise just how diverse and brilliant goats are. I found a happy goat, some fainting goats, goats taking over Australia, goats that live in a tree, the sex position: Goat on a cliff and even a bloody talking goat.

Brilliant.

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Plastic Ono Band

1 08 2006

So, I have just discovered that a tribute to John Lennon is to be filmed in Newcastle to be displayed at art galleries around the world starting with the Baltic on the 10th October. Obviously I will be going as I go to the Baltic to see the new exibits anyway but im curious as they are actually advertising for fans to go down and be a part of it. They need to know the lyrics to his best known solo album ‘Plastic Ono Band’ which I do. But they also need a vast knowledge on John and they may be tested which has me a bit worried. Ive read most of the Beatles biography and ive got the ‘Imagine’ biography DVD but I have no idea how detailed they’re expecting this knowledge to be. Should I know how old he was when he joined the Beatles, or at what time he ate a slice of toast on the 3rd of august 1974? This BBC News Story claims that all applications must be sent in by the 20th of July but they are still advertising in Newspapers with a new deadline of the 11th of August. I’d like to apply, but im not going by myself and I don’t think any of my friends will know the lyrics to the album. Go learn them somebody and apply with me!

Edit Sept 3rd, 2007: Shit, I’ve just read this. I COMPLETELY forgot about the Lennon exhibition at the Baltic almost a frickin’ year later! Boo hoo 😦