Goats

4 12 2008

What better way to kick start my blog again than with a post about goats. A friend today stumbled me this picture of a goat:

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I think the point of the image was to show how impressive it is that a mountain goat can climb such a sheer cliff, and the humour derived from the illusion that it is floating. But it got me thinking; what on Earth is this goat doing? What does it hope to achieve? What do any of these goats hope to achieve? I have seen a few goats traverse cliffs in my time thanks to Attenborough. Seriously, find a field. I know you’re a great climber and all but don’t bother risking your life, for what? A bit of moss on some Rock? Maybe you’re avoiding some predators. A bear, perhaps? Well tough fucking luck. You may be able to avoid bears and wolves in this spot, but your inability to move fast makes you perfect for a bit of cliff chucking. And that’s exactly what the Golden Eagle does. It throws goats off cliffs. So go find a nice field. Eat some grass. Sure, you’re in danger of being mauled by a bear but it’s better than literally living life on the edge (see what I did there). I’m sure anyone would rather be killed by a bear than by a bird. You’ll never live it down in the goat afterlife, assuming you’re a religious goat (I hear Atheism is rapidly spreading in the goat community). I’d also like to know when 1. goats became such great climbers and 2. they first decided this was a good idea.

“Hey… hey Billy, that’s the third mauling this week. I think we need to do something about this. I think we need to walk across that unnecessarily dangerous precipice”.

“That totally looks do-able. Let’s go for it!”.

Anyway, during my search for some goat related items for this post I came to realise just how diverse and brilliant goats are. I found a happy goat, some fainting goats, goats taking over Australia, goats that live in a tree, the sex position: Goat on a cliff and even a bloody talking goat.

Brilliant.

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