A Catch Up And Introduction To Some Folks…

31 07 2006

Ok, so I’m now going to try and condense the last few weeks into a few paragraphs. It shouldn’t be to hard really considering that… well, not much has happened. I guess I should briefly explain who the various people are that are going to pop up often just in case somebody is reading that doesn’t know me, or I get Alzheimer’s.

Where to start… well, I can’t really even remember what has happened because each day is generally the same as the last. Either James comes round to my house for a bit and we play on the 360, or we go to Newcastle… though I currently only have the funds to window shop, and occasionally eat. Dee was in London for a week, so we didn’t all get together and do anything apart from one rather nice day when I, James, Jane and Dan went for a walk to Jarrow cemetery and Primrose Nature Reserve (Previously Mildean Farm). We watched horses chew each other (literally), and rolled a big barrel down a hill, then marvelled at the things people have thrown into the River Don. I expected a few trolleys, but I didn’t expect 2 pedal bikes, 1 exercise bike and a car motor. Oh yeah, and we saw a dead pigeon which had somehow flown itself into a branch of a tree which consequently pierced and broke its neck.

Suicide Pigeon
I’ll also never cease to be amazed by the philosophical ramblings of a Chav:
Chav Scripture

Just in case you didn’t get all of that I’ll write it out. “If you reed this you are gay” Seems fair enough, apart from the bastardisation of the English language. It carries on, “If you stop half way through even truer”. Despite the fact that the lamppost has another 3 or 4 feet below, they decide to chop a few words out of the sentence leaving a less than desirable use of specific words and grammar. It isn’t the grammar itself which is important though, it is the message. Some people may have read the top bit, and in becoming gay stop reading, realising their troubles. Unbeknown to them, they have in fact become ‘more gay’. Presumably meaning that they fancy men more than the standard gay. Possibly even having twice as many sexual relations, probably with other super-gays.

Why state that if you stopped reading you are even ‘more gay’? If they stopped reading, they will never know. Maybe it would have been better to state that you have become ‘more gay’ because you have continued to read? Why am I even attempting to make sense out of the situation? I have just tried to make the sentence seem more valid by rearranging it so that it makes more sense for the reader to become ‘more gay’. Its things like this which make this blog seem worthwhile. Keep an eye out for more in-depth look at Chav Scripture in future post.

Anyway, the main thing that has happened over the past few weeks though is my hospitalisation. I went in for 3 days (Not overnight) which turned out to be the biggest waste of 3 days ever, mainly because everything that happened to me could have been done in less than 2 hours. I was there in the first place for my knees. I have fluid around my knees which makes them look twice their usual size. I had to get this drained, have a steroid injected in and then be given medication. The first day I went in at 9am and they took my blood pressure, weight and blood. I then sat for 2 hours and they sent me home and told me to come back the next day at 9am again. I did, and I sat there from 9am til 5pm with absolutely nothing done to me and nothing to do. That’s 8 hours of sitting in a chair with nothing at all. I did however predict such a wait… well, maybe not quite that long, and so I had brought my Beatles Biography. 239 pages later and I have a Scottish bloke sucking yellow liquid out of my left knee. Despite the apparent 8 hours of preparation, it was still buggered up.

For a start, he wanted to numb a 2cm by 2cm patch of my leg where the needle goes in… Something which wasn’t necessary when I got my other knee done as to be honest, it wasn’t very painful, just incredibly uncomfortable. The numbing needle actually hurt more than the suction needle, thus this ‘Pain killer’ actually caused unnecessary pain. It gets worse. He stuck the massive syringe in to suck out my knee liquid and nothing came out. That was quite scary, because he was pulling at bugger all and the syringe was just filling with air. I had visions of him slipping and pushing the air into a blood vessel. So, he decided to go in from the other side of the knee. Not only did this mean that he’d just stabbed my knee for no reason, but also the ‘Pain Killer’ was useless as it didn’t spread, “protecting” the other side of my knee, which he didn’t bother to numb. So, so far I’ve been stabbed twice and had numb gunk injected into me for absolutely no reason. Anyway, he did eventually start pulling out some of the beloved yellow liquid. About 2 pints to be exact. Then he hit a blood vessel and I watched as the yellow liquid slowly started turning crimson. Nice.

He got out as much as he could, then injected (Yes, another injection) some white steroid stuff that was probably just toothpaste into my leg and told me I needed to rest the leg and thus stay in overnight. I was having none of that. I’d had the same procedure done on my other leg and I’d been able to walk to the car and go home, so I buggered his thoughts and went home… After being told to come back tomorrow at 10am to get my medication. So, another day… another wait. Not quite as bad as the day before. I waited from 10am til 2pm that day. Another 150 or so pages later and a nurse came and told me about the drug I’d be taking. And that is that.

So there yuu have it.





One response

1 08 2006

I can REED this! Did they not stop and think, “Does this mean I’m gay?”

Silly buggers…

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